Heading 3

Click on the Book Now Button for a free phone consultation

CT Family Counseling
 Couples, family and teen therapy support

203-577-9194

ctfamilycounseling@gmail.com

Dads Group

998 Farmington Ave- Suite 104
West Hartford, CT 06107
519 Heritage Rd- Suite 2-A1
Southbury, CT 06488

Couples Therapy

Written By Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT

In moving toward an improved relationship, couples need to recognize that their hopefulness hinges upon two key concepts: 
 
  • a reasonable awareness of how they got to this point in their relationship,
  • and a willingness to be influenced by their partner and make some change

Couples who are positioned to make the most significant changes in their marriage or relationship are often able to:

  • maintain a pulse on their needs as well as their partner's
  • take ownership over their part in causing some of the relationship pain
  • avoid using blame language (You said....Your the one who....)
  • learn to play tug o' war on the same side of the rope (feel like teammates)
  • evaluate one's own progress and efforts rather than watching their partner's
  • is slow to get angry and quick to forgive
  • is able tto keep conversations progressive (avoiding replaying old conversations)
couples, counseling

"In many ways adults are just kids with money..." (we need fun too)"
Couples counseling is an opportunity for individuals to take stock of their relationship and determine a course of action that is active and collaborative. It gives couples a chance to look more deeply at the patterns in their marriage or relationship that are interfering with their closeness.

Many couples simply need a venue that is emotionally safe to share their concerns and ideas that will re-mobilize their closeness. Others need a bit more prodding and creative solutions to help relationships recalibrate. Regardless of where couples are in their relationship, there are always opportnities to improve communication and take action on the aspects of the relationship that is most needed.

Couples in counseling can expect:

  • empathic non-judgmental listening
  • relaxed and pleasant environment
  • useful strategies & interventions to take home
  • an opportunity to "re-author" their story
  • to learn how to play tug o' war on the same side of the rope
  • reprogram default ways of thinking
  • understand the various systems of which we live and how they impact each other
  • recognize the difference between what has the potential to change and what must be tolerated
  • examine whether your values and vision are in alignment with your daily life
  • encouragement to take risks
  • learn how to become slow to anger & quick to forgive
  • avoid 'analysis paralysis' thinking that keeps people stuck


 
Understanding Marriage Counseling

  
Marriage Counseling is often thought of as a concept for those couples only on the “fault line”- that is the expression therapists’ often reference as the place where relationships will either be salvaged or dissolved. Yet couples that do well often consciously take steps toward fine tuning their marriage, not waiting for crisis to justify counseling.

When couples come to marriage counseling they often present with issues that suggest they have not only been through quite a bit of heartache but have also exhausted the interventions that now seem ineffective and even harmful to their healing. These couples often have difficulty being receptive to support because they have so many layers of hurt that needs to heal before they are receptive to new ways of relating.

Coupleship readiness occurs when bother members of the relationship recognize that their way of communicating needs to be revised and there is a willingness to finally give up old patterns. Marriage counseling gives couples an opportunity to decompress, take stock and decide if they want to put in the kind of energy necessary to make their marriage thrive not merely survive. Couples therapy allows relationships an opportunity to take a break from the toxic patterns of relating and allow a trained counselor to hold a space and intervene in a way that will neutralize and transcend  their pain.

For some, marriage counseling is something that doesn’t just save their marriage, but has the capacity to reboot it in a ways that makes it more sustainable. It’s an opportunity for couples to think about how they can create their own safe space within their home and eventually phase out of therapy. Many couples are reluctant to attend marriage therapy because it’s hard for them to imagine an end point. Furthermore, they  worry that marriage counseling is going to take too long. The good news is there are many initial steps in marriage counseling that can help clients immediately. These interventions often build mindfulness and momentum and create more confidence in counseling over the long haul.

Marriage counseling gives clients a great opportunity to develop their ideal relationship vision not simply a plan to avoid divorce. It is a place that helps clients think not just about being good parents or better communicators.- but instead it is an opportunity for couples to imagine and develop the kind of closeness that most couples feel are relegated to Hollywood.
Marriage counseling takes a bit of risk. But mostly it takes willingness. A willingness to step outside your comfort zone and recognize that it truly is not a sign of weakness to seek marriage therapy. But instead it is a testament to how much you love your partner.
  

Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling

How to Be a Better Husband