Couples Counseling Lasts Forever

“I don’t believe in therapy!”

These are words that we in the helping profession often hear in the field of counseling psychology.

But what exactly does that mean?

For the highly concscious person, beliefs are formed over a lifetime of examining and testing different worldviews and philosophies to then arrive at a comfortable place where our beliefs become unbendable.

This is not being closed minded but rather confident that we have done our due diligence in landing in a solid place with our beliefs.

But when people reject the idea of counseling or get squeamish about the word “therapy,” it is often not out of an understanding of its potentiality but more out of a false or limited understanding of what it is and can offer.

As a licensed marriage & family therapist, I do everything in my power to help clients better understand the nature of couples counseling so that you can be confident you will not feel like a “patient.” In addition, I work to help people better grasp the importance of resisting old dialogue that seemingly has no end or upside. This forces people into the present to begin reinventing their reality without the constant verbal beatings from yesterday.

But perhaps most importantly much of the work I emphasize has to do with building a permanent toolbox for my clients that will last throughout their lives without the need to rely on therapy. Our job is to empower people with the tools that enable you to communicate more effectively, manage but honor your emotions, problem solve collaboratively and learn how to do this in a way that feels lighter.

Counseling is not supposed to be so intense and heavy. It is supposed to feel lighter- meaning we shouldn’t become so cerebral that we lose our ability to be ourselves, laugh and can overlook bad moods and silly stuff. When couples are doing well they are not avoiding conflict, but rather engaging in it in a way that is respectful and has a chance to be resolved.

Couples counseling can last forever because it is designed to create relational templates between you and the one you love. It gives you a framework from which to process difficult conversations differently and to maintain a focus on the relationship more so than the issues on the table. When we emphasize the respect of the individual and the relationship, the issues have a way of being addressed more honestly and in a way that gives conflict an opportunity to help create real closeness.